Saturday, April 23, 2016

Things were moving so fast
I couldn't comprehend it
I was first, maybe I was last
Confusion had descended
I was amazed by what had transcended
Through the pages of time
Faith is a wall I must climb

I was intrigued by your spirit
And your eyes which showed no pain
You were screaming but I couldn't hear it
And your movements would not explain
Why you'd condemn me
To a world of senseless rhyme
Fear is a wall I must climb

I've seen some heroes in my day
I've seen the failures in yours
And I tried to connect us in some way
But we were on two different shores
Though your love is worth million of treasures
But I can't even spare a dime
Love is a wall I must climb

The people, they were singing
I could hear them from the street
My feelings, they were stinging
I was submerged in my defeat
But I smiled for a second
And for that second, I felt fine
Pain is a wall I must climb

So quiet is the terror
That swallows me like the night
So quiet is this sickness
And the song that I long to write
But I shall receive my passion, eternally
From beyond the bitter stars that shine
Doubt is a wall I must climb

In my world of convergence
I'm a prisoner only unto me
While I await for the emergence
Of the form I shall soon be
Until then I'll wait in the museum
The museum of my mind
Fate is a wall I must climb

The hangman, he's in the shadows
And he's looking for something to do
Until we find who won the battles
Of the evil and the true
And the judges, they're in recess
Until they receive some sort of sacred sign
Belief is a wall I must climb

Have you ever looked at your face so much
Until it became askew?
Because the road that's less traveled is the one
That leads right back to you
Lord, I'm frightened for I fear that my lack of life...
... is my crime
I am a wall I must climb

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Homeward-bound Angel

You never game me the chance,

To say goodbye to you.

Somebody called and said you'd left.

I don't think I'll be seeing you too soon.

Two-way running,

Down the road.

Do I look like...

Anyone you know?

Whatever brought you here...

Well, it's gonna get you home.

Leave no trace to be found.

What's the difference?

You're here or gone.

Memory fades.

And time steals away.

Still the miles... won't be forgotten.

As the Homeward-bound Angel.... goes a-wandering.

Saturday, April 09, 2016

The hits just keep on coming...

So I wrote off a 40-year friendship this past week.

That was fun.

But I guess I had to face reality. The friendship had been on life-support for a LONG time.

These things can't survive if they're just one-way, and this one had been one-way for years.

And the one time I needed this friend to come through for me, he just couldn't be bothered.

What I was asking for was just someone to sit down and talk things over with.

I don't think that's asking a lot, but as Lou once said to me, the only way you can actually be generous is when it involves your time.

I spoke with another friend about this and he just laughed... and in a way that said, "boy aren't you late to the party?"

I probably should be sad about this, but a major part of what I am going through right now involves no longer having the energy or emotional capacity to put up with long-term bullshit. And this was bullshit dating back to the mid-80's.

I seem to be losing friends left and right, but in one case it was because that person went off to prison, so I don't think that one counts.

I'm sure someone else might see this as that whole "getting rid of toxic people!" thing that women invariably go through in their 40's... but it's not that at all. I never pay toxic people any mind anyways.

I can't explain what it is. It's a little bit like a different person is slowly taking me over.

Whether that's good or bad, I can't say.

Stay tuned.

Sunday, April 03, 2016

I was around for the '80's... wasn't I?

I mean... I seem to remember having a pretty good time during the 1980s. I remember the music, the crazy graphics, the ludicrous clothes people wore. I remember cocaine being everywhere. I remember a lot of parties, and a lot of people thinking they were really cool. I thought I was there for all of it.

Now I'm not so sure.

The other day I was talking about the Olympics with someone.... and they mentioned the Los Angeles Summer Olympics.

I kind of vaguely remember that. I remember a bunch of people dancing to "All Night Long" at the closing ceremony.

But I don't remember anything else.

Same with Live Aid. I kind of remember it, but I also kind of don't remember it at all.

I remember "Less Than Zero" was huge one Summer. Like everyone else, I read it. Don't remember it. I remember using the term "Allagash" with friends to describe a method of bar-hopping we used to do. Don't remember any of the places we went.

I wasn't over imbibing. I wasn't doing drugs. I'm just not sure where the 80's went.